There is something incredibly amazing and awe-inspiring about being able to feel an unborn child inside of you.

(Baby Boothe 12/27/2012. Two days later, s/he was in the much more respectable pose that I used for our announcement blog.)

The range of emotions that swell up in me each time I feel movement is like I never felt before-at least not all at once.

Part of it is a little mysterious. Like a little secret you hold on to; only you know what’s going on. The reason why I smile in the middle of an otherwise boring training. Or stop and pause for a moment because I want to savor the moment.

Part of it is terrifying. Who am I to be attempting to raise a child? All the “What if?”s and things that could go wrong (and in my life, usually seem to do).  Fear for being responsible for a tiny, helpless being, who one day must be a functioning, contributing member to society in a world that seems to increasingly grow in insanity by the minute.

Mostly, though, it is pure joy. Wonderment. Ecstasy. Because I know there is a little life in there when four and a half months ago, there was nothing but me. Amazement at the rapid growth. The miracle of life. And this time, I get to be a part of it.

Despite all the many difficult symptoms I have/am experiencing, it feels so worth it all. Because I already have such incredible hope and love for this unborn child. Each and every extra wiggle, kick, or stretch I can feel just reminds me that my baby is there, and for now, is safe and doing well.

Now, I just hope I can hold to that thought and joy in four months from now when wiggles are full blown kicks and stretches under my rib cage in the middle of the night!