Author Archives: Elisabeth

About Elisabeth

The joyous and sometimes odd adventures of a former English teacher and her trusty sidekicks, Jared the Hottie Husband and her two Italian Greyhounds, Stinky Stevie and Bonnie Boo. Recently the adorable baby, Princess Evelyn, has joined the clan to shake things up!
Aug8

Birthday fun!

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Birthday fun!

First of all, before I get started, I just want to thank everyone for their kind words on my previous post. It means a lot to me and having those kinds of words in writing really does help to go back at and read.

Moving right along, yesterday was my 23rd birthday. It makes me excited because maybe, just maybe, I won’t be the youngest teacher at the school this year. Last year my nickname with many of the teachers was “86” because through one of the beginning of the year activities  we did to “get to know each other better, it was revealed that I was born in 1986. Which apparently bothered some of the teachers born in the 1940s. LOL. I would really love it if there was an 87 this year. 🙂

Yesterday was great. I woke up pretty happy because 1) I actually slept pretty well for once, and 2) I felt good about how much I got done yesterday.

I think due to my anxiety, sleep becomes an issue because I typically wake up several times a night after rather dumb dreams, making it difficult to fall back asleep. The end result is I generally wake up just as tired as when I went to sleep, or more so. So, when this doesn’t happen, and I actually sleep pretty well, it’s a big deal.

On #2, our house is starting to look more and more like a home, and you wouldn’t believe how nice it feels NOT to have a bunch of boxes lying around the living room or just stuff lying about the counters and floors. I also organized our closets (Jared and I both get our own closet… much to Jared’s relief!). Being able to see the possibilities and potential of this house is so exciting to me.

The rest of the day was a happy blur. Jared and I went to this great place downtown called Zilker Park. That’s just one of the cool things about Austin. First of all, it’s pretty dang cool that right next there downtown, there’s the big Colorado river. Secondly, Zilker Park is a real, and big, park. And within that area, you can experience wonderful things like natural springs and kayaking.

Jared and I were gonna do the kayaking, but my headaches decided to ruin that plan. It was a hot, like 100 degrees hot, long walk to the kayak place. Once we got there, they only wanted two things from us. Our cash, and our photo IDs. And naturally, because we didn’t want to get all that stuff unnecessarily wet, we left all but the cash amount for the kayaking in the car. We started the long trek back to the car… and suddenly that nagging mosquito buzzing headache turned into a throbbing mess, pounding in sync with each step I took.  Jared and I stopped by Barton Springs so I could rest enough to make it up the hill to the car. It was such a pleasant place! Dogs were allowed, people were just hanging out, and they even had a diving board! It was pretty awesome.

Jared was also sweet enough to make me all 3 meals yesterday. And I would just like to say, as the main cook in the house, IT WAS AWESOME to have a break. I need to make him cook more often…. or help me out at least. 😉

Presents were AWESOME. Thanks Aunt Linda and co. for the Inkheart books- I seriously have meant to get around to reading them, but haven’t yet, so I was PSYCHED to get those. Especially because I was really struggling to figure out that cool flowerpot card. Apparently, not all cards open up, y’all. The pretty “flower” part slides out of the flowerpot part and THEN you can read the message. And the sad thing was, Jared had to tell me that after I examined the card for 2 minutes. ha. Along with the book theme, the in-laws sent me the remainder of The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Seriously cool series for those of all ages, and I get that extra thrill from it because of how much I LOVE Greek/Roman Mythology! I had the first book, and the last book, not the 3 in the middle. So I think Jared must’ve colloborated with that, cuz I got the remaining three! Now, I just have to figure out how to read all of these 5 books in the next week before school/training starts. 🙂

My mom sent me this pretty purple jersey dress that actually looks pretty good on me. I also got this very colorful apron from Nana and Grandpa, Jared’s grandparents. I think she might have made it herself! And I can’t wait to make Jared put it on sometime and get a picture of it. It’s just a matter of time. DON’T THINK THAT I’M NOT WATCHING FOR THAT OPPORTUNITY!

Last, but not least, because perhaps he didn’t think the day had been awesome enough, Jared surprised me with tickets to WICKED. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 3rd row. I seriously don’t know how I resisted the little girl squeal because I was so excited. It’s showing in Austin for the next 3 weeks, so I can’t wait to go to that. I have heard from several reliable sources that the play is completely different (and better) than the book. (Take my word for it, DO NOT read the book. Unless you enjoy sickeningly pornographic images and seriously twisted relationships happening.) I also love the music from the musical version, and even Jared gets a kick out of “Popular.”

We ended the evening with Neapolitan ice cream,  succulent chocolaty chocolate Costco cake, and watching one of my favorite movies, Stardust. This cake was the 7 pounder glorious cake that you gain weight just by looking at it. We’re hoping there’s some left when my mom and Stephen come next Wednesday. We might just eat ourselves sick before then. Just because it’s there, and we can!

Ok, back to the movie part. And even though Jared isn’t a big fan of such movies, he didn’t fall asleep until the last 30 minutes of the movie were left! Which, according to him, “are the best and most exciting parts of the movie!”And since it was late, and no longer my birthday, I figured it was okay to pause it and go to bed.

And that, was my intensely awesome and busy birthday day. And I can’t believe that it took me a good 40 minutes to type all of that. If you made it to this ending, congratulations. Go get yourself some chocolate. NOW.

Aug5

“Coming Out”

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“Coming Out”

Yeah, I know what you all were thinking when you read THAT title. But come on, we all need a little humor in our lives.

I feel like it is time for me to write about my “elephant in the room”. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to say something about this, because it’s important and has been an overwhelming part of my life, and yet I have felt embarrassed or ashamed of it.

So what is it? In a word: DEPRESSION.

There, I said it. Depression. You know, that “mental illness” that some people have. Here’s a definition from dictionary.com, “A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.”

Only exception to that list, unfortunately, is the loss of appetite. I seem to have the other problem. Really, wouldn’t you think if you have to go through all of those other terrible symptoms, you could at least benefit from weight loss?!

All joking aside, I haven’t said this to many people, because I felt like it shouldn’t be happening to me. Many people I know don’t believe in the existence of clinical depression and do not approve the use of medication to treat it. And I grew up in that atmosphere. If I kept myself busy, if I just worked harder, if I just pushed myself to do projects, to do service to others, to do well in all aspects of my life, I wouldn’t feel this way. I had way too great a life to be unhappy.

But it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes the anxiety and sadness is just overwhelming. It’s that black hole, the moment just before a terrible accident when you realize that there is nothing you can do about it except go along for the ride now. Some days you just wander around in a daze. I feel like I am driving a car in really bad fog where all I see is just a few feet in front of me.  It’s all I can do NOT to be a bum–collapse on the couch and just watch TV all day, and some days I do that anyways, even though I KNOW that I have a pile of work to finish up and the quality will be a lot better if I don’t procrastinate.

I drop the ball on a couple of things, even though I have the best intentions of doing whatever it was that I offered/was given to do. And of course, then I feel even worse for doing that, and then it adds to the guilt I feel for being a “horrible person.”

No matter what is said to me in those worst moments, no matter what people might be trying to do to help me out, NOTHING helps. I just try not to crumple into a heap of wrinkled, wet misery on the bed. And sometimes I do anyways.

This is where I’d like to mention how wonderful my husband is. He has known me for a long time, and even through periods of blah that were in our relationship, he still married me, and still supports me daily. I know it’s not easy for him when he’s come home from a long day of work and I was “wiped out” by merely doing a load of laundry and didn’t get dinner done.  And yet, he would never say it. And even in those moments where I am beating myself up because I feel like I am the most worthless person in existence and I just want to be all alone in my misery, Jared’s there, saying any positive yet logical thing that comes to mind to try and ease the load of hate and loathing I have for myself. Even though I shoot down every one. Or discredit it with other examples. Even though I know I must be making his life THISMUCH harder and therefore making me feel even more like a horrible person for letting him see my pathetic condition.

I’ve been on medication specifically for depression and anxiety since December. (I am not going to mention which one, because I’ve tried others that haven’t worked nearly as well—made me even physically sicker—and I’ve researched even more.) I’ve also started working with a counselor as well.

I have been thinking about putting this confession up on my blog for awhile. I composed a bit here and there in my mind, but today my “mental doctor” suggested I get into journaling again. So I thought about doing private entries in my blog. Then I wondered why I was going to do that. This is a part of who I am. I have been suppressing it for so long that I had really only made things worse. And maybe there are other people out there who feel the same way and aren’t getting the help they need, because living a depressed life isn’t really living. I don’t even think I could call it existing. You may have all the reason in the world to be happy, but you can’t enjoy it. You aren’t living life to the fullest.

I can’t believe how much better I am feeling from the person I was a year ago, or even 6 months ago. And I still have bad days. Logically I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I spiral down and get caught in a rut. But I have more good days now than bad days, and I can see past the fog a little further.

And for all that, I was embarrassed to say, but it’s a part of me, and I should not be ashamed because I am trying to be better. I am making the effort to be happier and healthier. And to me and those of you who may know what I am talking about, that’s what really matters.

Jul26

Sleepover!

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Sleepover!

So, last night was our first official night in the house- YIPPEE!

Okay, okay, I know, a bit sad. However, thanks to Jared’s friends Asa and Aashish, we were able to move all the “big stuff” over to the house. You know, like the queen-sized bed, the piano, the double bed, the couch…. things that I couldn’t possibly help Jared load into his truck on my own. So I contributed by packing smaller boxes and making peanut butter bars for the guys. Our way of saying “thank you.”

Last night was a lot like a hotel stay; we haven’t moved a lot of food over, missing a lot of the essentials, but now we have more at the house than we do here at the apartment. I think I will get used to it sooner than later; but it’s just hard to believe this is OURS. OUR house, OUR yard… just… WOW!

Stevie has been LOVING it. He was running up and down the stairs, going in circles around the main floor, and his tail was CONSTANTLY wagging. He is so excited about the extra room. I think he will settle in just fine. 🙂

Jul17

The bees are gone!

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The bees are gone!

The backyard is overall now a safer place. The huge hive of bees has been sealed up and there are no signs of a new hive forming. I do wish that there was a way we could have removed them alive from the tree and transplanted them, but it would have probably done damage to the awesome tree. Oh well.

Other bug updates: all bugs in the house that we find are dead! Meaning, the rate of new bugs showing up is slowing down considerably, and by the time we see them, they are officially dead! Considering the fact that seeing a live spider or cockroach or any creepy-crawly or flying thing can send me into a state of cardiac arrest, and then those creatures show up starring in my nightmares, this dead bug thing is very very good!

The temperatures here in Texas are HOT!!! Today, outside the house was about 103, and inside was 95. Can I just say, YUCK! It’s really killing our grass, and as our sprinkling system consists of a hose, a nice spray nozzle, and a rotating sprinkler, it’s a lot of work to keep up with! So our grass looks a lot like this:

Dying Grass

Some places, it looks a lot worse. 🙁 At least I have managed to keep the majority of the plants alive! woohoo!

So today, I was attempting to revive the greenery about the house by water and vacuuming up bugs in the house, waiting for the AC guy. (Yes, I am aware that the middle of the day isn’t the best time to be watering. Until we move in, we aren’t motivated enough to do late night/early morning watering.) The window was 1-4pm, and the house was 95 degrees. Guess who actually got pretty far behind? Yup, the AC man. So there I was, doing activities in the sun and then coming inside and vacuuming/unpacking some items that I moved over there today… and I think I got too much sun. Drinking water wasn’t really helping… so around 3:30 I called Jared and asked him to call the AC people and see if they were EVER going to come, because I couldn’t handle the heat anymore!

Jared called me back, and the window had been pushed back to between 5-6pm! And they couldn’t call to give us this time estimate? Must I suffer, hoping that ANY MOMENT sweet, cool relief from the AC could be coming?  Well, Jared told me to go home, rest for a hour, then go back, or he could leave work and go there for me.  I got home and decided that I couldn’t go back. I was dizzy, I had no energy, and even with my glasses, my sight was off and on blurry. Time to sleep for sure.

So Jared ended up taking a break from work so he could meet up with Mr. AC guy, and now we have AC. Hopefully that will make moving so much easier!

On other news, Stevie is doing much better. The bumps are all but gone and he’s not sneezing anymore. He does enjoy getting meds because they come with the magic items “Cheese” or “Peanut butter.” It makes me laugh, because he actually gets excited when he sees me opening up his medicine. A dog that WANTS to take his medicine?! Not to mention, he is hilarious when he gets peanut butter. Here’s a vid of IggyJack (NOT STEVIE!)  that can give you an idea of what Stevie looks like after he gets peanut butter; except Stevie’s tongue sticks out about 4 inches for a good 30 seconds after he gets the stuff.

(Warning: Video may lead you to laugh, giggle, and can cause strong yearnings for a cute dog. There’s some great links associated with it, like IggyJack gets shot, IggyJack gets a tissue… etc. Also, you may want to play it with the sound off, other than the shot one…)

Jul12

Vacation July ’09

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Vacation July ’09

So, we are back from vacation in Utah (which was wonderful, by the way), and I have recovered enough to post about it. We have reunited with the darling Stevie, whom I missed terribly the whole trip, but it seemed best to board him. The trip home wasn’t as great as I thought it would be, though it went amazingly well for the first time we drove with a trailer on the truck. 🙂

Jared and I did a night in Truth or Consequences, NM (seriously, that’s the name of the town!) after a late start Sunday afternoon.  Then Monday afternoon, Jared surprised me by stopping in front of a Bed and Breakfast in Moab. I thought we were just gonna stay in a cheap hotel, but instead we spent a lovely night in the Cali Cochitta inn. They also have FABULOUS breakfasts, by the way. I would highly recommend staying there for multiple reasons.

Then we did some hiking in Arches National Park. I LOVE that place. Maybe not quite as much as Bryce Canyon, but it’s definitely up there in “Most beautiful and orginal places in the world.” We started the morning hiking Delicate Arch, but I was unbelievably out of shape. Stupid headaches! The hike is well worth the end result. We also saw some of the other neat sites of the park, mostly from the car though.

JandE Delicate Arch       JandE Delicate Arch 2        Fiery Furnace          Sand Dune Arch

Some sites we saw from a far:

Broken Arch      Skyline Arch      The Devil’s Garden     

Then Tuesday-Monday we were in Orem with our families. We were able to spend some time with my mom for her birthday, 25th anniversary of her 29th birthday!. We also did some four-wheeling with the Boothe clan in the Utah mountains. Despite a few mishaps, it was a beautiful drive. The wildflowers made me so happy! We also got to eat wonderful homemade dinners from both families and spend time with them. Sarah got us addicted to GuitarHero III for the Wii… now we really want it.

Some of the sites we saw ATV-ing:

Cute guy I saw while fourwheeling One good looking guy!

Purple hills and Sarah The purple hills and sister-in-law, Sarah.

Amazing Green mountains Can you believe how beautiful this is?

Okay, I will be done saturating y’all with pictures I think are awesome. All in all, it was a wonderful trip. Thanks to the Utah Boothes and Duncans for being so hospitable!

We are very happy to be reunited with our puppy too. It was so cute how excited he was to see us again. Jared and I were sitting down waiting, and they opened the door, and he saw us and came running so hard that the lady decided to let go of the leash and he jumped on my lap, gave me tons of kisses, then even jumped over to Jared and gave him a few before coming back to me. The people at the place absolutely adored him and said he was a sweetheart, along with being a handsome boy! (Like we didn’t know that already!)

He’s all of a sudden gotten a series of small bumps along his spine. We think it could be allergies, so I have been giving him small doses of Children’s Benadryl this weekend in hopes that it will help. If it doesn’t start looking better by tomorrow, I’m taking him to the vet.

That’s what’s up in our neck of the woods!