Category Archives: Jared

Oct4

It’s been a week…

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It’s been a week…

You know that there’s something wrong with you when you look at your blog and go, “Wait! Why is that the top post?! Did it not save my latest few posts?!” and then realize: “Nope. I had a lot going on it my head, but was too busy to do anything with it.” Yes, I really did have that train of thought run through my mind.

Anyways, this past week has been insane. It was the end of the first grading period, and it almost did me in. The whole past week, I have had 7th grade papers as my constant companions. When I wasn’t grading, the thoughts of what I needed to grade haunted me. Poems, book reviews, and miscellaneous late work fluttered around me… and it was horrible. Even with these two hanging out with me as I tried to work hard:

Thanks for your patience with papers being all over the house (and pets), Jared. I know that was rough.

On the flip side, to balance out the misery and chaos created in my life by grading, this weekend was General Conference weekend for Church. And it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I was triple booked this weekend (between grading, my CTWP conference, and an amazing book festival going on within a hour of here) along with General Conference. And they were all important and/or meaningful things for me to be involved with. I had to make a conscious choice to choose Conference.

I always seem to enjoy the Saturday sessions more. And this year I was not disappointed. Within the first two hours of Saturday morning, I had several talks that felt like specific parts were addressed directly to the struggles and discouragement I have been facing. This year has had so many things go wrong, and I have never felt so hopeless or discouraged, even when I have tried so hard to focus on the good around me.

General Conference touched me and reminded me that all these things will pass. These issues and doubts that have plagued me are temporary, and that I can rise above it. I feel so lucky to have such easy access to inspiring and good people sharing simple truths about how to live our lives.

That, and the fact that grades have been officially submitted, make life a much happier place to be.

Sep23

It’s been a rough one…

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It’s been a rough one…

It’s been a pretty rough week. Most of the reasons are probably not completely appropriate to discuss on a blog, so I’ll keep it pretty simple with the public appropriate downers:

1) Teaching twice as many kids in half the time is not conducive to a happy, positive learning environment. Especially when kids aren’t turning things in. Thanks for those budget cuts, Rick Perry. The future of America looks forward to how you can destroy more than just Texas school children’s education.

2) Work drama. I can’t say much more than I got pushed to the wayside for something that I was very qualified for and that could have potentially been a great add to my resume to be more desirable for being a high school teacher. Awesome.

3) The new online gradebook thing that we have to use for grades stinks, and causes lots of issues with parents either completely not being able to figure out what their kids grades are, or freaking out because what they can see isn’t always happy, which increases my email/contact role. And when is it NOT fun to speak with an angry or confused parent?

4) We cut down our VERY dead maple tree. It took a few nights (as I refused to operate a chainsaw without husband supervision, and also, he wanted to play with his new toy) and was rather dirty. As the maple tree was my favorite tree until this summer, that was very sad. Expect an “Ode to the Maple” sometime soon.

5) I found out that my husband’s family’s beagle, Brodey, needed to be put down today. And even though I don’t think he really liked me ever that much (or anyone other than David and Sarah), it makes me really sad because I remember how much it hurt a few years ago when I found out that our family dog, Dixie, had to be put down. And that’s always a heartbreaking feeling. I kind of told Jared to not tell me too much about it because it would reflect badly on me to cry in front of the kids at work.

 

However, there were a few things that did go well this week, so I will end with those:

1) Jared sent me cookies from Tiff’s Treats on Tuesday because I had a really rough morning. And they delivered it to me in front of my best kiddos, who thought it was the sweetest thing ever. And wherein several kids also offered me $5 a piece if I gave them a cookie, which I sadly turned down because I probably would be in trouble if somebody found out about it. But if I wasn’t morally bound, I could’ve been rich!

2) I got another book donation from a secret sponsor for my class. The Candy Shop War was written by Brandon Mull, same author of the amazing Fablehaven series. And since I haven’t read it yet, I feel somewhat obligated to read it before putting on the bookshelves for the kids at school. Once again, moral obligation, but this time totally in my favor! 😉 So to my secret donator: Again, both I and my students thank you!

3) The dogs are enjoying the large amount of sticks that have come from the death of the maple tree. Each day they try to bring several into the house, but I usually catch it before they start reducing them to slivers on the couch.

They are so cute, no?

3) Jared is going to surprise me with something awesome this weekend. Which I am totally looking forward to. And need, desperately, after this rather painful week.

 

Sep18

Eight Years…

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Eight Years…

Today marks the eighth year mark of the day where I realized I really liked this cute guy I was getting to know. He was finishing up the semester in another state, so most of our communication was through the internet, but I knew that there was something special about this particular guy. And the best part? He was starting to like me, too.

His name was Jared.

And eight years later, we’re still going strong.

Thanks for the reminder card and beautiful flowers this morning. Especially since I have been feeling so yucky again this weekend. It totally made my day AND made me happy all over again that I got choose you eight whole years ago.

I love you lots!

Aug8

A Surprisingly Happy Birthday

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A Surprisingly Happy Birthday

I am officially a quarter of a century old. Woohoo! And what I had expected to be a low key day was actually a very sweet and wonderful day.

Jared had been acting strange all weekend. (Well, stranger than usual…) And when he’s like that, I KNOW something is up. Like the week before he proposed to me. All sorts of weird -for HIM- behaviors, like being late to things and only having lame excuses. Turns out he was masterminding a rather awesome proposal (as those of you familiar with that story know). But I was ready to strangle him up to that point where it all fell into place.

Anyways, Jared had been doing strange things all weekend. Like, buying a MONSTER chocolate cake from Costco. You know, the one that’s eight pounds of pure chocolate heaven? If you DON’T know, please make your way to the nearest Costco and locate one of these cakes. And bring a lot of friends to help you eat it to prevent cardiac arrest.

Costco Cake

This is a quick picture I found online. It doesn’t do the cake’s enourmous size the justice it deserves, but you get the point.

So Jared bought one of THOSE cakes, and knowing that I am attempting to stay to my diet somewhat, refused to let me invite anybody over to help us consume it. Strange.

Then, the morning of my birthday, Jared got up early and told me that if I value my life, I’d stay out of the kitchen. MY kitchen. Fortunately, most mornings I am sleepy and enjoy extra time in bed, so I didn’t fight it, even when I heard strange noises emitting from downstairs. I started to smell something sweet- something that reminded me of cake or brownies- but shoved that thought out of my mind because we already had an EIGHT POUND chocolate cake of doom in our posession, and it would be ridiculous to have more sweet items in a household trying to fight off sugar.

After going to church and coming home, Jared banished me back upstairs, as if he had lots of important things to do. Which apparently included cleaning up the downstairs, like vacuuming, mowing the lawn, and doing dishes that I wasn’t allowed to see because it might give away the early morning cooking. So I changed into my pajamas, cuddled with the dogs, and was a lazy bum.

We then ate a delicious dinner (which he only let me prepare half of), and we opened a few presents and cards (shout out to Jared, Aunt Linda, Sarah, and my in-laws for great cards and/or presents!).  Jared mentioned how he cleaned up the downstairs as part of my presents. Which, to anybody who does most of the work around the house, is always a sweet thought and appreciated. But there was something WEIRD about the whole thing.

It only got stranger when he hinted that maybe I should change back into something nicer than my pajama bottoms because he might want to take a few pictures of me opening up my last gifts and having some cake and ice cream.  Since when does Jared like to take pictures of that sort of thing? That’s usually what I do. So, to test him, I asked him if he was SURE we couldn’t have anybody over to share that humongous monstrosity of Costco Cake with us.

Nope. He was sure.

So, I got ready, called my parents back (because they had called while we were eating dinner), and chatted with them.  As the conversation was finishing up, the doorbell rang. And Jared refused to answer it. Grr. So I had to get off the call and go get it.

On my doorstep, two friends, one from church, one that I worked with, were standing there with big smiles.

And then it all clicked.

The cake. The cleaning. The refusal of inviting people over. The hints to look nice.

That sneaky Jared had been planning a little surprise party for me all along!

A few more people showed up, and then Jared showed off his culinary skills by producing the ice cream cake that  he had spent a significant time earlier in the day making. And we all just talked and hung out and ate ice cream cake and chocolate Costco cake and played us some Guitar Hero.

After everybody left, Jared apologized for not getting me a lot of presents. He thought maybe, because I had been so down lately, what I needed was an affirmation that people did care about me. And was that okay?

Yes, Jared. It was perfect.

All those dear friends who could come and share part of their day to wish me a happy birthday, and especially Jared, planning and pulling together the whole celebration, were the best presents I could have had.

The best presents don’t always come wrapped up nicely in a box.

Sometimes, the best presents you can get are the intangible ones that remind you that you are loved.

And now that I think about it, we never did remember to take any pictures.

Jul27

The Allegory of the AC Circuit Breaker

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The Allegory of the AC Circuit Breaker

Two summers ago, when we first bought our house, the weather decided to make a run for making the record of the most days over 100 degrees. As you might imagine, it was hot. Jared and I were still euphoric about moving into our first home, so we didn’t let the heat stop us from starting to move our things from our apartment to the house.

That is, until the AC stopped working.

Even though we had the controls set to mid-seventies inside the house, the temperature rose into the eighties, and eventually, the nineties in the afternoon. And there is not much motivating about moving and cleaning up things in a house that is trying to cook you alive as you do so. As we investigated, we realized the problem wasn’t with the controls, but that the AC unit itself. It wouldn’t turn on.

Jared’s first thought was perhaps that it was a circuit breaker issue, but when we looked at the box in the garage, there was nothing labeled for the AC. So we did the next natural thing when you have a home warranty that is mandatory to get when you are buying your home: we called for an AC guy to come look at our unit.

A few days later, he showed up, and after about 15 minutes, decided that there’s nothing wrong with the unit and it must have been something with the circut breaker. Jared explained the dilemma about nothing being in the garage labeled for AC. The AC guy just stifled a laugh, shook his head with amusement, and walked us around the house, to point us to the circut controls that are on the OUTSIDE of the house.

Until that moment, we did NOT know that box even existed. He opened it, pointed to the somewhat clearly labeled AC part, flipped the switch, and immediately the AC unit turned on. We paid the guy, and thought it was over.

Until a few days later, when the AC stopped working again. We flipped it again. Then the next day. And the next day. And the next day. Then it increasingly got worse and worse, to the point where it would only last a few minutes, if we were lucky. So like the smart people we were, we called the electrician, who when he came, opened up the box, and showed us the circut breaker (or what was left, at least):

AC Circut Breaker 1     AC Circut Breaker 2

The electrician held up this charred piece of plastic and metal next to a new, bigger and better breaker. He then patiently explained to me that the circuit breaker was technically the required # load for the job, but a solid, good breaker that would be capable of standing up to the load that was needed (especially in one of the hottest summers ever) would be nearly twice as thick as this one. This poor guy just couldn’t take the load it was labeled for. He then put in the bigger breaker, same # caliber as the other one but twice the size.

Our AC has been amazing ever since.

I bring this up though, because lately, I feel like I’m the fried circuit breaker. Despite the many things I’ve done to “flip the switch” to get things back on track, it’s not enough. Even the positive experiences I do have only last a short while before it runs out.My metaphorical batteries are run dry (apparently, I didn’t get Energizer brand) and every task I do takes so much more energy than I could have ever predicted. Getting up out of bed in the morning is a chore.

And teaching… All my previous years, I was excited to go back. Even after my month in June, and YWC, and a few weeks rest, I am unsure if I am doing the right thing. If I’m even GOOD enough to do it. I’m plagued with all kinds of doubts. Example: If I was GOOD enough to be a teacher, wouldn’t I be able to teach a grade level I want? If I was GOOD enough, wouldn’t have somebody at a high school taken me on by now?

Generally we want to be the hero (or heroines) of our tale. Somebody brilliant, brave, talented, who can stand up to any challenge thrown at us. The Harry Potter, Bella Swan, Ender Wiggin, Aragorn,  Kendra or Seth Sorenson of our own life.

But right now, all I am is a broken circuit breaker, trying to make it one day at a time.