Monthly Archives: March 2012

Mar28

Wretched Raccoon Report

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Wretched Raccoon Report

Once upon a Sunday morning not too long ago, Jared got up to let our dogs out. (This is because our dogs have a habit of getting up RIDICULOUSLY early. Stevie is a hungry monkey. He will jump on any exposed body parts, which wakes Bonnie up. Bonnie will then proceed lick you to death if you don’t get up by 7:00 to give them food. It’s been excellent practice for getting ready for the baby, right?).

Anyways, because I wasn’t feeling great, Jared was the one to let them out. The dogs usually bark and mess around when they are outside, so I didn’t think twice about that as I dozed back off. Surprisingly, just a few minutes after getting up, Jared called me -not called for me up the stairs; he called my CELL PHONE- telling me to get outside, immediately.

Naturally, that’s not the sort of call you ignore, so I got up and ran out to the front like he had asked. Jared was standing in the back of his truck with the hose poised to spray the roof of the garage. When I got closer, this is what I saw:

(Raccoons pictured actually look MORE pathetic in person than they appear as shown here. Really. You can see that sad, sad look in their eyes!)

This little fella had been playing in our backyard when our dastardly dogs located him and chased him UP ON TO OUR ROOF of our garage. (I really would have liked to see how he managed that.) Then our raccoon friend started to try and get more safe and secure by apparently pulling at the siding of the house. Entre: Jared. Spotting this ridiculously scared raccoon on our roof, he decided the best way to get it to move was by spraying water at it to chase it off (which, by the way, is a top recommended method for discouraging raccoons to hang out by your house).

Unfortunately, this just motivated the raccoon to move from the back of the house to the front, which is when I came into the picture (and took that pathetic picture).

After convincing Jared to do some research on the best way to handle raccoons, we went back inside (and did research- imagine that!). We quickly learned that if you have a raccoon issue, animal control and wildlife services don’t really care. The best way to get rid of them is if you pay a pest control service or try to remove them yourself with various methods (like spraying water at them).

Naturally, this called for some creative thinking. We devised a master plan. I would stand in the back of the truck in front of the house with the hose poised to spray. Jared would get on the back of the house with a very long piece of house trimming and try and guide it into the tree, where then the raccoon could make a quick escape onto a fence or the ground. The end.

It all went as planned. Except for the part where the raccoon was supposed to go DOWN the tree. Instead, the ridiculous raccoon went UP the tree. Extremely up the tree. Wrong, wrong direction.

(It’s kind of like “Where’s Waldo?” except this time, it was “Where’s the Raccoon?”)

And there Mr. Raccoon stayed there for over TWO DAYS.

Monday morning before work, I went out and tried to check with a flashlight (because of the “Spring Forward” time change, it’s still pretty dark when I leave for work), but couldn’t see him. I was hopeful that he got smart during the night and left, but NO. Jared texted me at work to let me know that Raccoon was on the same section of tree as he had been all Sunday.

By Tuesday evening, I was concerned. We were supposed to have a monster storm, and the raccoon had stayed in the same vincinity for over 48 hours.Was this thing sick? WHY would you sit in a tree for that long without food if you were feeling okay? I called a pest control place who said there wasn’t much they could do except set some traps out at the base of the tree and hope the raccoon would get to the food first (because we have LOTS of awesome critters… squirrels, frogs/toads, big birds, cats, OPOSSUMS -which had been the previously coolest critter we had seen in the yard up to this point, if you wanted to know- that could get stuck instead). He also said that it was unusual for healthy raccoons to behave this way, but not unheard of, and call him in a day or so if we still had The Issue.

Thanks for NOTHING, Mr. Pest Control.

So here we were, with a pathetic raccoon stuck in the tree and a monster storm on the way, and no new ideas. All we had left to do is wait out the storm and hope the raccoon was smart (and healthy) enough to move on. And boy, did we have a storm. Midnight to 6:00AM was all about the thunder, lightening, heavy rain, and hail.

I fully expected to see a dead raccoon in our backyard Wednesday morning. (I’m Captain Positive-O, right?)

Wait for it…

The raccoon was gone. Without a trace. Not in any of our trees, or on the roof, not dead on the ground, not anywhere on our premises. The raccoon finally made his great escape!

Over a week later, I am happy to say we have had no further raccoon incidences. As cute as he was, I think it’s probably best that he stay away. I like to pretend that he found a nice, dry tree to hide in away from any humanoids, and now is happily scavenging around without running into further trouble. (See, I CAN be positive sometimes, JARED!)

But perhaps I speak out of turn. It may be too soon to tell…

Stay tuned for any return reports on Wretched Raccoon sitings!

Mar17

Stephen, This One’s for You

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Stephen, This One’s for You

My “little” brother, Stephen, has a favorite favorite color. He loves this color so much that he wears it pretty much every day. Some find him weird for this behavior, but he would just retaliate by saying said persons were weird for NOT loving the green.

Knowing this, it should come as no surprise that today, St. Patrick’s Day, is his favorite holiday. And even though I am far away, I can’t forget that. (I personally like St. Patrick’s because it’s all about the beautiful Emerald Isle, and I would love to go there again and visit some day, but each to their own!)

Anyway, so I am wearing my green. Are you?

Mar15

“Baby Bargains”

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“Baby Bargains”

So, first off, I would like to offer a public apology to my mother-in-law for the E.R. information in the last post. (Though I maintain what I said earlier on the phone that Jared was originally supposed to say something when he talked to you last…) So, sorry about that.

Moving on.

Pretty much the highlight of my life right now is getting things prepared for Baby Boothette’s arrival. It’s hard to focus or care about anything else right now. (That doesn’t sound too crazy, does it?) But those of you who have done this whole “having a kid” thing realize that it can get ridiculously expensive. Average crib prices are $400+, not including mattresses, bedding, etc. Strollers, monitors, carriers, car seats, clothes… it’s enough to make your head spin!

The guy who is essentially Jared’s “boss” (and just had his second child this past summer,) suggested some books to Jared. Naturally, we bought them. (Please refrain from any brown-nosing comments. Thank you.) So far, the most useful has been the book Baby Bargains.

My main complain with this book is the awkward size. It is really oddly shaped for a book- long and not very wide, combined with a good amount of pages that seems to stress the binding when you try to read the book. I know that sounds silly, but that really bothered me when I first started reading it. Fortunately, once you get past the awkwardness, the book is a treasure trove of information.

Example: Ikea cribs are some of the best deals you can get out there. Why spend $400-$700 for a crib when you can get the following for $119?

(We are going with a white crib because 1: We are having a girl. White girly furniture is just fine. And 2: My mom gave us all my white bedroom furniture when we bought the house. Meaning this crib will match perfectly with the girly stuff. Maybe one day our daughter can appreciate “vintage” furniture???)

So, we are pretty excited that this crib gets an “A” (excellent) rating for such a great price. Please note, according to the book, Ikea cribs are in the “good” section for cribs, but when you get to high chairs, they get a C+ (generally avoid) rating. So it’s not a simple blanket statement for brands, which is cool.

Not to be sacrilegious, this book has become our “Baby Bible.” There’s information, ratings, and charts for everything you could imagine regarding babies, broken down into smart sections, plus what the book reviewers say are their favorites (good, better, best). You even have parts like how many onesies and other outfits would you want to have for a new baby?

Just fabulous.

If I had to be sick, at least I was sick while reading this book, because I’ve been having way too much fun planning out everything for the baby!

(Oh, what have I turned into that this excites me so?)

Mar14

On Spring Break and Hospital Trips…

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On Spring Break and Hospital Trips…

I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to write lately. There’s a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I have started to write a post several times and just never finished them. Someday, perhaps.

Fortunately, I am on Spring Break this week. Unfortunately, I’ve been sick for the past week, so I haven’t really had a chance to enjoy it up to this point in time. Because sick and pregnancy goes hand in hand with each other, apparently, especially with that special ironic twinge that you can’t take most medications to alleviate symptoms.

Fortunately, being sick means I have had a lot of time to “relax”. Unfortunately, “relax” means you get so bored that plucking hairs out of your head one by one seems to be the only route to retain a semblance of sanity. (Which I pretty much lost about 4 years ago anyways, when I started teaching seventh grade.)

Fortunately.. okay, enough of that.

Even with my cold/cough, Spring Break started with a big of a bang. I’ve had a medical issue a few times throughout the pregnancy that has given us a couple of scares, and it reoccurred Thursday evening and went into Friday. Since this was a little longer than previous times, I called the doctor’s office on my lunch. Really, since this wasn’t new, I was expecting to be told to just wait a little longer or to come in later in the day. You can imagine my surprise when they “strongly recommended” that I go straight to the Emergency Room in the hospital.

Now, before you get your panties all bunched in a wad, everything is FINE. Baby Boothe was never in any distress. In fact, she’s kicking or wiggling right now as I write this. Honestly, the scariest part of the whole experience was being told that I should go to the E.R. and having to get subs to cover my classes at the last minute. (Fortunately, I have some awesome, supportive coworkers that immediately stepped to the plate when I told them I needed to leave.)

Anyways, I talked to Jared, and he immediately got himself pulled together to meet me at home to take me to the E.R. (Who ever wants to the emergency room by themselves?!) Our hospital’s emergency room is actually quite pleasant and calm, or was when we went in at noon on a Friday. There was a little confusion, because at 23 weeks, apparently that goes straight to their OB/labor unit. And then apparently my doctor’s office and nurses never actually talked to my doctor before telling us to go to the E.R.

On the upside, I got a taste of what it will be like to check in whenever I do go to the labor. The rooms aren’t too bad, and they have a good sized shower in the bathroom. And the nurse that hung out with us while we monitored Baby Boothe’s heart rate was quite pleasant. (After 15 minutes, the heart rate was still perfect, and the issue had been fading away, so we were discharged pretty quickly because it was clear that Baby Boothe was not in distress.)

The moral of the story? I really don’t know. I can think of a couple of things that are rather clever, but none to positive to say.

Let’s just leave it at the fact that this Spring Break can only get better from here…right?